Exploring the landscape of relational purpose

Welcome to my blog, a space dedicated to exploring the depths of relational purpose and mental well-being. Here, we delve into topics such as developmental trauma, C-PTSD, Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), nervous system repair and regulation, counselling, therapy models, and more. My aim is to provide you with informative and supportive content that offers relief, knowledge, and a sense of hope. Join me as I navigate the complexities of mental health and discover pathways to healing and connection.

Nervous system regulation

Nervous system dysregulation develops when the body has learned, often through repeated stress or relational injury, to remain in states of protection such as hypervigilance, anxiety, or shutdown. These responses are adaptive and intelligent, even when they begin to feel limiting or overwhelming in adult life.

Practices like slow breathing, grounding, mindful awareness, and compassionate self-talk support regulation because they communicate safety to the body. Over time, this helps the nervous system soften its protective responses and recover a greater sense of steadiness, choice, and connection.

Regulation is not about forcing calm, but about gently supporting the body to feel safe enough to return.

 

David@relationalpurpose.com

Understanding Complex Post-Traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD)

 

How CPTSD develops

CPTSD may develop in response to:

  • chronic emotional neglect or mis-attunement

  • unpredictable, critical, or unsafe early environments

  • long-term relational stress or early caregiving roles

  • Repeated experiences of having to adapt, manage, or stay alert

Many people with CPTSD function well outwardly. They may be thoughtful, capable, and highly attuned to others. The impact of trauma often shows up internally — in the body, emotions, and relationships — rather than in obvious external ways.

CPTSD can also become more noticeable in adulthood, particularly during periods of increased responsibility, burnout, parenting, or relationship change, when earlier survival strategies no longer work as effectively.

How CPTSD can show up

CPTSD looks different for each person, but common experiences include:

  • feeling easily overwhelmed or emotionally flooded

  • anxiety, shutdown, or emotional numbness

  • difficulty resting or receiving care

  • strong inner criticism or shame

  • feeling responsible for others while disconnected from oneself

  • cycles of over-functioning followed by exhaustion

Many people describe understanding themselves intellectually, while feeling stuck in patterns that don’t shift through insight alone.

Supporting healing in adulthood

CPTSD is not a failure to cope — it reflects a nervous system shaped by survival.

Supportive work focuses less on “fixing” and more on creating safety, pacing, and regulation. This often includes:

  • developing awareness of the nervous system

  • working relationally and at a manageable pace

  • understanding how early patterns show up in present relationships

  • cultivating compassion for protective strategies

Over time, this can reduce reactivity and exhaustion, and allow for more steadiness, choice, and connection.

In closing

CPTSD does not define a person’s worth or potential. It speaks to how adaptive and relational human beings are.

With appropriate support, many people find that what once felt limiting begins to soften, creating more space to live and relate in ways that feel more sustainable.

 

David@relationalpurpose.com

What is an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)?

High Sensitivity refers to a natural variation in how some people process sensory, emotional, and relational information. Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) tend to notice more, feel more deeply, and process experiences more thoroughly.

This sensitivity is not a disorder or a weakness. It reflects a nervous system that is highly attuned to subtleties in the environment, relationships, and internal experience.

Common characteristics of HSPs

Highly Sensitive People may:

  • feel deeply affected by noise, light, or busy environments

  • notice subtle changes in mood, tone, or atmosphere

  • experience emotions intensely and reflect on them deeply

  • feel overwhelmed by too much stimulation or pressure

  • need more time to process experiences and decisions

  • value depth, meaning, and authenticity in relationships

Many HSPs are thoughtful, empathetic, and creative, but may also experience exhaustion or overwhelm in fast-paced or demanding environments.

HSP and stress

Because HSPs take in more information, their nervous systems can become overloaded more easily. Over time, this can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, or shutdown — especially if sensitivity is misunderstood or unsupported.

In some cases, prolonged stress or relational strain can contribute to patterns that resemble or overlap with complex trauma.

Supporting high sensitivity

Support for HSPs focuses on:

  • understanding and respecting sensory and emotional limits

  • pacing, rest, and recovery

  • learning to recognize overwhelm early

  • creating environments and relationships that allow sensitivity to be a strength rather than a liability

When supported, high sensitivity often becomes a source of depth, insight, and relational richness rather than strain.

If you feel this relates to you. feel free to take this quick test here; Highly Sensitive Person Test | Psychology Today

David@relationalpurpose.com

Incorporating Somatic tools for working with trauma.

Trauma will taint every experience we have in our lives from there on; either we will be reminded of it, or we will try to numb ourselves from it.

 

What is Trauma?

Trauma is a residue from an intense experience, either born out of a one-off experience, or over a prolonged period of time. The experience affects the mind so intensely, that it causes the brain and inversely the body to go into a state of heightened awareness to deal with the stress.

Unfortunately, this heightened response (burst of energy and emotional overwhelm) imprints itself into the mind and the body. So when we are triggered by memories, people, even sights or smells connected with the experience, it causes an automatic response to said trigger, bringing the whole memory or elements of the experience, back to our awareness.

 

This causes the mind and body to literally relive the experience, albeit unconsciously. But the affect always has polarizing results, from either side of the scale; from rage to complete disassociation and everything in between.

 

Over time we accept these unconscious reactions, as the normal way we live in the world, and our reactions and responses play out the same way every time. We often feel frustrated that we have an inability to control our emotions, feel flooded by grief and fear, and wonder why we suddenly feel like a helpless child again. These feelings come from deep inside our brains and cannot be eliminated by logic and reason.

 

Therefore, approaching the depths of trauma can have its challenges.

 

The main way our minds approach trauma is to hide from it. This is because certain experiences were/are too overwhelming to cope with and is why it becomes the body's job to hold the stress of the impact, away from the awareness of the conscious mind.

Unfortunately, this in turn creates a distance between our minds and our bodies. Which is called alexithymia; a sense of disconnect that hampers our ability to sense and communicate what is going on for us.

 

Only by getting in touch with our bodies, connecting to ourselves viscerally, can we regain a sense of identity, presence and self-awareness.

Which is why many therapeutic techniques to help with trauma attend first to the body and the senses, before going to the story.

 

The following are tools and approaches which attend to the body first, which can be implemented into the session. Some may only apply in face to face sessions. However Most can be offered online.


Grounding Techniques

Grounding techniques are practical actions that help to bring one into the present. i.e noticing what they are feeling in their body; whether they carry pain somewhere, i.e. sense a weight on the shoulders or a tightness in the chest etc. There are also awareness exercises to help one become more present. e.g. noticing the floor beneath their feet, or taking in what is happening in their environment and so on. These awareness activities help one to become more embodied and present. Which can be helpful at the beginning of a session.


Therapeutic Breath work

The power of harnessing breath to bring one out of a high stress response has been done for centuries. It helps to calm the sympathetic nerve, bringing the mind into equilibrium by countering the effects of stress and anxiety. It also creates a spaciousness and supports focus. This too can be provided in a gentle way at the beginning of, or throughout the session.


Music and Sound Modalities

As highlighted in another blog post, music and sound has the ability to center the body and sooth the mind. It may help an individual to embody a specific emotion and can also be used as a tool to provide relaxation and presence. This too can be offered online and is particularly helpful within sessions for creating a comfortable space when working with severe trauma.


Massage and restorative touch

Physical touch carries with it the ability to sooth, hold and heal. Not only can massage sooth the body, but it can also often unlock places of tension and stress which will in turn unlock emotional pain and trauma. This, for obvious reasons, can't be provided by the therapist online. However, there may be times in session that one may feel something bodily, that may require attention; be it a sudden tightness or a stab of pain associated with a feeling or an emotion. When in session online, self-massage may help to attend to the pain, which can be guided by the therapist.

 

Externalizing Objects

Sharing or expressing something for the first time may be challenging, not only to face, but also to verbalize. Externalization can help to show what is going on inside, without having to feel overwhelmed by the feeling or sensation. One may draw, choose a piece of music, or an object to represent either a part of themselves, a feeling, or an experience. This can help to provide enough distance from their experience, that they are able to approach that which has felt completely inapproachable in the past. This tool is particularly helpful early on in treatment.

 

Many of these approaches work better for some, than others, and finding what fits for each individual may require some experimentation. These are all gentle approaches that will never be pushed on the client. They are offered at the individual's pace, with empathy and regard for their individual needs.

 

D.Dawson@relationalpurpose.com

 

References

Kolk, B. V. (2014). The body keeps the score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma. Penguin UK.

Susan McConnell, C. (2020). Somatic internal family systems therapy: Awareness, breath, resonance, movement and touch in practice. North Atlantic Book

Sweezy, M., & Ziskind, E. L. (2013). Internal family systems therapy: New dimensions. Routledge.

Westmacott-Brown, N. (2019). Breathwork: Use the power of breath to energize your body and focus your mind. Dorling Kindersley.

Integrated Counselling Modalities

There are three therapeutic models that are the basis of my approach: Parts work; Informed by IFS (Internal Family Systems), PCT (Person Centered Therapy), and Narrative Therapy. Below is a short description of each modality. 

 

Parts Work - Informed by IFS (Internal Family Systems Therapy) 

IFS informed Therapy is a therapeutic model that views the nature of the mind very differently to other psychological models. It asserts that the mind is not singular, but rather made up of multiple characters, which in IFS are called parts.

This therapeutic modality is a trauma-based model that proposes that these 'parts' (of us) are trapped in certain times and places; times of trauma and pain; they have their own histories, experiences, desires and needs. The more extreme the trauma, the more these parts 'act out.'

Parts have an array of techniques to deal with or approach everyday situations. Some parts will come forward at a triggered moment to sooth, some to control, and some to dissociate. Others may attack. While others may numb. Often though these reactions, happen almost automatically and are usually extreme or polarizing in their actions.;

Thus, the goal in Parts work is to help the client to get to know these inner parts of themselves. First by bringing compassion to them and hearing their story, and secondly by helping them leave the place of pain and enter into the roles they were meant for. Thus, bringing the system of the many 'parts into balance, which provides a more manageable equilibrium in the individuals life.

IFS has a protocol which dives into the psyche and aims to work with these parts collaboratively. I have found it to be an astounding approach, and although it sounds a little different, it has the ability to speak to the depths of a person in ways that many models cannot

*For more information check out the Ifs institute.

 

Person Centered Therapy

Person Centered therapy, as the name suggests is a therapeutic approach that holds the client at the forefront. This therapeutic model was developed by Carl Rogers in the 1940's-1980's. It is the basis for many of the talk therapy modalities used today. With its three 'core conditions;' Empathy, unconditional positive regard and congruence as the crux of the model, the therapist can approach each client and their beliefs, culture, personal history and experiences, with the utmost respect. It is client led, as well as collaborative, placing importance on self-actualization and relational growth.

 

Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapy focuses on stories. This model views each client's life/worldview as holding a collection of stories. Often though, the stories that we believe about ourselves, keep us in either problematic cycles, or keep us stalled.

So, re-storing or 're-authoring' is the goal of narrative therapy. In order to do this, the individual is encouraged to first tell their story, and through the telling, collaboratively discover what new story can be created.

The therapist draws on the tool of Externalization, which is the key concept in narrative therapy; Externalization is a way of addressing a problem, a condition, or a behavior as separate from the client. This tool fosters the ability to reconstruct one's personal narrative by placing distance between the person and the problem. This separation can help shift one's identity to something closer to what they want it to be. It enables growth and more personal agency for the future of their lives.

 

David@relationalpurpose.com

The Healing Power of Music and Sound.

 

"Music is the mediator between the life of the senses and the life of the spirit."

- Beethoven

 

The power of music and sound.

Sound therapy or sound healing seems to be something of a new fad. However, utilizing the power of sound, vibration, and music to support the health of individuals has been harnessed since time immemorial.

From its ancient traditions of hand drumming, chanting, and singing bowls, to the modern forms of electronic and binaural beats. Sound has always, and will continue to be a source of relaxation, reflection, and expression.

Most of us know that music can affect us in a metaphysical way, whether it's certain lyrics that speak to our experiences and emotions, by rhythms that make us want to dance and run, or melodies that soothe us or send us into a melancholic stupor.

Sounds likewise can affect us daily, whether it's the sound of birds twittering in the trees, the ocean tide lapping on the shore, or the sound of children laughing. These sounds, too, can add to the richness of our outer and inner lives.

However, certain sounds will naturally have a counter effect. This varies for each individual. Whether it is a style of music, a busy household, or a loud work environment. These sounds, on the contrary, can add to an already stressed mind, ushering in more anxiety without us being consciously aware of these peripheral sounds buzzing around us.

Extensive research has shown that sound, and likewise music, can work neurologically in ways to repair anything from physical ailments to emotional trauma.

Music therapists have worked with people with a range of conditions, from severe autism and dementia to the more common issues of anxiety, depression, and sleeping disorders. And all have had astounding results.

Sound and music can also bypass the need to 'speak,' which is particularly helpful for those with severe trauma, those who are not yet ready to share their story, and those who struggle to express themselves through words generally.

It can also be helpful when used as a starting point in the therapeutic journey. It can set a mood or tone that will help one to embody their feelings or past experiences.

Getting the ball rolling for exploration and healing.

 

David@relationalpurpose.com